Fifteen years ago today, Laura and I were married. It seems like a lifetime ago. So much water under the bridge since then and I have no clue how I feel about it or even how I should feel. Of course I'm sad. I'm sad for what I lost, but I've gained so much since then. I'm sad that her life was cut short, but I know that she was freed from demons which I could never begin to understand. I'm sad for the life together that we'll never share, but I've since moved on to a new life full of it's own promise for the future.
So here I am, not sure how to mark this day and not quite sure how far along I am in the transition from old life to new. Is there still significant grieving left to be done that I've buried and left unresolved? It is my nature. Or have I addressed my loss and now stand ready to embrace this new life and all that it offers? Sure I'll continue to have moments, now among them, that my loss comes rushing back; but I believe I am ready to move ahead. Not forgetting, not burying, but embracing what I was blessed to share and remembering how that love brought me to what I now have.
Cherish the past. Live for the future. Is is really that simple?
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